Forever in my Heart
by XxSparklesxXDiamondsxXRainbows
Summary: One evening while cleaning out the barn, Moira reflects on her first marriage to John and suddenly feels his presence once more but has she really let him go?


Moira was cleaning in the barn, she had been stressing these past few days and despite the help of Adam, she was still struggling. So much had happened to her and she was really unhappy at the moment, it was as if her life had unravelled before her very eyes. Only a year ago, she was Moira Dingle, a woman who had rebuild her life following tragic events that had occurred but now it had wrong and she was again Moira Barton, a woman who had lost not only her husband but also her daughter. Holly's death had sent her insane and she had turned to alcohol to numb her pain but now she was sober and she was trying to stay in control.

Once she had finished her work, she sat on the haystack. She remembered when she had first moved in eight years earlier, how happy she had been then. New life with the man of her dreams and her gorgeous kids whom she was proud off.

Now eight years later, she was alone and she was always under stress. She wished she could walk away but by walking away she was turning her back on her life and her family that still remained.

She missed John and Holly. John was the love of her life and with whom she had spent twenty two years of marital bliss despite the many problems they had, she wanted him back right now even though he had been dead five years.

Five years.

That was a long time. It felt wrong. He should be with her, looking forward to their twilight years, watching the grandchildren grow, spending the rest of their lives together but sadly that wasn't to be. She was starting to wonder if she had ever accepted his death and whether or not she would have been with Cain had he had lived.

Yes, she and John would have still been together. Their love was overpowering and she was ashamed that she had forgotten that.

Tears began to roll down her face as she thought about him.

"I miss you." She cried to no one in particular as she sunk onto the floor getting her overalls covered in hay.

"I miss you too."

Moira looked up. Was it Cain? No, he was with Harriet now. She looked around. Her mind was playing tricks on her, it had to be.

"Moira?"

Moira didn't look for a minute then she slowly turned around. Sitting behind her, dressed in a blue checked shirt and jeans, his handsome face sporting a soft smile, was John. It couldn't be. Could it? Was it really him?

"John, am I dreaming this?" She asked and John looked at her as she blinked.

"Yeah babe. Its me." He said softly as he embraced Moira. Moira knew he hadn't come back from the dead but all the same, his presence was welcoming to her.

"Darling. Oh John how I've missed you. Its been so difficult." She said with tears down her face as John stroked her cheek.

"I know, just because I'm not here in person, I'm still here in spirit. Its breaks my heart seeing you in pain and though I don't approve of Cain being your second husband, I'm relieved your not on your own on that front." John said truthfully. Moira shook her head,

"I'm not with him anymore. He cheated on me with Charity and he's now with Harriet." She said sadly while John held her close.

"You need to move on babe. You cant live in the past, I know that we are the love of each others lives but life goes on and we have to live it. Holly misses you too." He added sadly while Moira sobbed into his chest. Then, soft music was heard in the background and Moira recognised it as Lana del rey, shades of cool, she liked that song.

John held out his hand to her and she took it as the song played,

My baby lives in shades of blue  
Blue eyes and jazz and attitude  
He lives in California too  
He drives a Chevy Malibu

And when he calls  
He calls for me, not for you  
He lives for love, he loves his drugs  
He loves his baby too

But I can't fix him, can't make him better  
And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

But you are invincible  
I can't break through your world  
'Cause you live in shades of cool  
Your heart is unbreakable

My baby lives in shades of cool  
Blue heart and hands and aptitude  
He lives for love, for women, too  
I'm one of many, one is blue

And when he calls  
He calls for me, not for you  
He prays for love, he prays for peace  
And maybe someone new

But I can't help him, can't make him better  
And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

'Cause you are invincible  
I can't break through your world  
'Cause you live in shades of cool  
Your heart is unbreakable

You are invincible  
I can't break through your world  
'Cause you live in shades of cool  
Your heart is unbreakable

As the song ended, Moira sat back down and John held her hand,

"Ill always look out for you darling and Ill make sure that Holly does the same. You are the centre of my earth and mother of my children. You and me will always be a part of each other. One day we will be together again and nothing will split us up." He said softly as he placed a tender kiss on her lips, Moira wanted this moment to last forever.

"I love you." She said softly as a tear fell down her face. John felt a tear slid down his own face,

"I love you too." He whispered.

Then he was gone.

Moira wiped her eyes and smiled to herself, knowing that John and Holly would always look out for her and they would be forever in her heart.

The End


End file.
